Forget goals, focus on this instead.

I went golfing with my dad a while back. Dad plays almost every week. I’ve played once, and it was five years ago. During our time together, I spent most of my time in the rough (that’s a fancy golf term for weeds). I had these epic golf swings hitting nothing but air. Then more epic swings hitting nothing but earth. I mean, I was so bad that the guys behind us passed us up, and they were walking the full 18 holes. We were in the golf cart. It was a good time.

My dad was incredibly patient with me, though. He would always tell me I’m swinging too hard. He would say, “You’re trying to kill the ball.” I thought I had to swing hard to make the ball go further, right?

One seasoned golfer says it like this:

It may sound obvious, but my advice is to stop trying to kill the ball. Ignore distance and focus on swinging a little slower and smoother. Once I realized that my trying to murder the ball every time was the root of my problems, I had some of the most productive range sessions yet.

Okay, hold on. I’m a few hundred yards away from where I want to be, and you want me to ignore that fact? I was trying to kill the ball because of the distance I needed the ball to go. But my focus was in the wrong place. It was on the outcome (distance) rather than the system (getting my golf swing right).

This reminds me of a great quote from Scott Adams. He says, “Goals are for losers; systems are for winners.” At first, when I read this, I was a little thrown off. But he explains that it’s a focus shift from the outcome to the process that will get you to the result. In other words, make your mark of success the system instead of the goal.

Now, wait a minute, Greg. What about the goal? Do I forget about goals altogether? I would say no. The goal informs the system you use. So get clear on the goal and then focus on the system.

I can say all day long that I want to have a healthy marriage. I can have a vision filled to the brim of what my marriage could be, and absolutely nothing could change. But when I commit to telling my wife that I love her every day, that becomes my system. The small daily I love you becomes my win. Those wins build on each other and lead to my dream of a healthy marriage.

Whatever your goal is, find the daily system to get you there and make it the mark of success. With this in mind, you bring your audacious goal down to a daily habit. A small enough activity to knock out each day. All you need to do is trust that the system will lead you to the desired outcome.

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